Does Any NFL Player As Consistently Look High As Does Jay Cutler?

That’s Brian’s awkward phrasing, but I’m pretty sure it asks what he meant it to ask.

Jay Cutler looking distant

Look at that thousand-mile stare. He looks paralyzed and vaguely terrified. He might fall over at any second.


Jay Cutler looking dim

He only has two expressions, dazed and confused or retarded grin. Can you guess which one the above picture shows?

Jay Cutler looking goofy

Photo man funny!

Jay Cutler looking befuddled

Where am I? How did I get here?

Jay Cutler looking destroyed

He’s regularly on Denver newscasts for this charitable event or that, always looking wrecked. And seriously, how does an NFL QB have a double chin? Late-night Taco Bell binges, that’s how.

UPDATE!

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Does any NFL player as consistently look high as does Jay Cutler?

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If you voted ‘yes’ make sure you leave a comment to let us know who you think beats Jay.

Keith

Keith is standing right behind you watching you read this, so just play it cool. You know he's gonna want you to act all complimentary when you're done so just play along. It was garbage but you don't have to hurt the dude's feeling. It's not like it was so bad that you have to insult the kid. Well, it was pretty bad but no lives are at stake so just let is slide. He's just really desperate for attention and it's kind of sad.

20 responses to “Does Any NFL Player As Consistently Look High As Does Jay Cutler?”

  1. brent

    Cutler is part of the rare breed of man who can look skinny and chubby at the same time.

  2. Zeke

    Ironically.. this one does…
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....201304.jpg

  3. notthatjealousofproathletes

    if you were under a microscope as often as cutler, you’d be perceived as constantly stoned, too. lotttts of pictures being taken, not really fair to use 50% of your evidence based on action shots.

    but maybe, if you were lucky, you wouldnt have as many pathetic cyberdouchebags who try to stir up shit by writing things that have no merit or intelligence. jay cutler always looks stoned, based on four pictures? seriously, that’s a headline?

    if you’re gonna run a site like this (slowly turning sportscenter into entertainment tonight..mindless bullshit celebrity gossip..good stuff!!) then at least make is compelling. try deadspin, dude.

  4. keith

    Notthatjealousofproathletes,

    Thank you for taking the time to peruse our website where we are constantly striving to turn Sportscenter into Entertainment Tonight. As you’ve seen, not a day goes by where we don’t dish the hottest gossip on the decadent lives of professional athletes. I’m sure you found this link off of deadspin.com because they too were outraged by our merciless skewering of Jay Cutler.

    But, you’ve got me all wrong. You obviously feel very defensive because you think I’m attacking the only decent player to ever come out of Vanderbilt’s god-awful football program when, in fact, I actually think Jay Cutler is a credit to the Vanderbilt community. At least he isn’t counted among the constant stream of pedophiles and white supremacists that Vanderbilt graduates every year. I love you in the most platonic way possible, Jay Cutler, and please accept my apologies if I’ve offended you in any way.

    When you hold down the shift key while typing a letter, the letter will become capitalized. Kisses!

  5. brian

    I don’t know where that guy gets off, I just know that "slowly turning sportscenter into entertainment tonight..mindless bullshit celebrity gossip..good stuff!!" is this site’s next slogan

  6. Latent Racism and Vanderbilt University | catsandbeer.com

    [...] is it that every time I write an article suggesting that Jay Cutler appears stoned and retarded, I draw the ire of one member of the Vanderbilt community or another? Mind you, I [...]

  7. notthatjealousofproathletes

    Keith and the rest of Catsandbeer-
    Wow, just woke up and re-read my comment regarding the Cutler thread. While I obviously don’t agree with “the constant stream of pedophiles and white supremacists” that graduates from vanderbilt every year, I now recognize the hypocrisy of my post– criticizing a website for being ineffective with an unbelievably ineffective comment. After reading over the site again (this time in a sober state), I realize the fallacy of my previous post. I appologize for my unwarranted criticism and blatant lack of puncuation.

  8. brian

    I found out the answer is "maybe" – check out Bills quarterback J.P. Losman:

    wha?

    huh?

    OK, easy now …

    Yeah

    All right!

    whoa!

    hmmmmm

  9. Haley

    JAY CUTLER IS SO HOTTTT! I WANT HIM SO BAD!!!

  10. brian

    totally

  11. Your Mom

    That is the way he has always smiled. It does not make him look high, but rather it makes him look like he doesn’t really give a shit what people think about him. And-for the record-he really doesn’t. He is be too busy relaxing in his mansion…sitting in his home theatre or swimming in his ginormous pool…then later drying himself off with hundred-dollar bills. And when he’s done with all of these things, he still won’t care that you wrote this article, and you’ll still be a "journalist??" for the catsandbeer.com.

  12. brian

    Keith, I thought you had pretty good relationship with your mom – what gives?

  13. Beth

    I love Jay Cutler, he’s my idol, but I do find your posts hilarious. I mean I know your not serious, your just having fun.

  14. Quick Hits: Jay Cutler Version | Sports news and rumors

    [...] Come the Pretzels]-Deadspin’s 2007 Denver Broncos preview [Deadspin]-Jay Cutler looks stoned [Cats and Beer]-Pregame of Cutler’s first career start on sunday night football vs. Seahawks [Deadspin]-The [...]

  15. X da pimp

    Eli Manning looks a lil bit retarded. He always has that looking around lost look with his mouth open. And he does have a big head. Let me know wat you think.

  16. casey

    well…now we know why. but it’s not exactly his drug problem, it’s the DIABETES he was diagnosed with. Yea…trying not to pass out on the sidelines, and uncontrollably losing weight, but he’s still able to drag himself onto the field and throw for over 3,000 yards.

  17. Gary R.

    I know you’re just TRYING to be funny. But couldn’t you pick a fairer-target than a young-man who’s gamely trying to be both a great quarterback and a role-model for kids with diabetes?

    Ad-hominem attacks on his alleged double-chin from a blogger who’s only pictured in a distant skiing-outfit? Geez-up, bro-heem.

    That hardly seems sporting, in the least.

    As for claiming that Jay looks high– based on some photos where he actually doesn’t– has it even occurred to you that some type-1 Diabetes patients have been found to benefit from Cannabinoids that fight the oxides that wreak havoc with one’s vision?

    Maybe your next target should be that naive Dalai Lama (for believing Chairman Mao in 1955, when he promised to let Tibet’s spiritual-leader return to his homeland untrammeled).

    Of course, Mao also promised that the so-called “People’s Republic” would allow Democracy among the proletariat, by now.

  18. mercy

    great cutler, great guy!

  19. Iron

    I thought this was Jay Cutler the body builder in a high school pic. I don’t follow the NFL so I had no clue.
    Interesting anyway. LoL.

  20. Jay Cutler

    I do enjoy a pre-game smoke every now and again. Although Coach is pretty sure there’s a correlation between my smoking and my throwing picks. I don’t see it though…

    Love your site!

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