Does Any NFL Player As Consistently Look High As Does Jay Cutler?

That’s Brian’s awkward phrasing, but I’m pretty sure it asks what he meant it to ask.

Jay Cutler looking distant

Look at that thousand-mile stare. He looks paralyzed and vaguely terrified. He might fall over at any second.


Jay Cutler looking dim

He only has two expressions, dazed and confused or retarded grin. Can you guess which one the above picture shows?

Jay Cutler looking goofy

Photo man funny!

Jay Cutler looking befuddled

Where am I? How did I get here?

Jay Cutler looking destroyed

He’s regularly on Denver newscasts for this charitable event or that, always looking wrecked. And seriously, how does an NFL QB have a double chin? Late-night Taco Bell binges, that’s how.

UPDATE!

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Does any NFL player as consistently look high as does Jay Cutler?

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If you voted ‘yes’ make sure you leave a comment to let us know who you think beats Jay.

Keith

Keith is standing right behind you watching you read this, so just play it cool. You know he's gonna want you to act all complimentary when you're done so just play along. It was garbage but you don't have to hurt the dude's feeling. It's not like it was so bad that you have to insult the kid. Well, it was pretty bad but no lives are at stake so just let is slide. He's just really desperate for attention and it's kind of sad.

20 responses to “Does Any NFL Player As Consistently Look High As Does Jay Cutler?”

  1. brent

    Cutler is part of the rare breed of man who can look skinny and chubby at the same time.

  2. Zeke

    Ironically.. this one does…
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....201304.jpg

  3. notthatjealousofproathletes

    if you were under a microscope as often as cutler, you’d be perceived as constantly stoned, too. lotttts of pictures being taken, not really fair to use 50% of your evidence based on action shots.

    but maybe, if you were lucky, you wouldnt have as many pathetic cyberdouchebags who try to stir up shit by writing things that have no merit or intelligence. jay cutler always looks stoned, based on four pictures? seriously, that’s a headline?

    if you’re gonna run a site like this (slowly turning sportscenter into entertainment tonight..mindless bullshit celebrity gossip..good stuff!!) then at least make is compelling. try deadspin, dude.

  4. keith

    Notthatjealousofproathletes,

    Thank you for taking the time to peruse our website where we are constantly striving to turn Sportscenter into Entertainment Tonight. As you’ve seen, not a day goes by where we don’t dish the hottest gossip on the decadent lives of professional athletes. I’m sure you found this link off of deadspin.com because they too were outraged by our merciless skewering of Jay Cutler.

    But, you’ve got me all wrong. You obviously feel very defensive because you think I’m attacking the only decent player to ever come out of Vanderbilt’s god-awful football program when, in fact, I actually think Jay Cutler is a credit to the Vanderbilt community. At least he isn’t counted among the constant stream of pedophiles and white supremacists that Vanderbilt graduates every year. I love you in the most platonic way possible, Jay Cutler, and please accept my apologies if I’ve offended you in any way.

    When you hold down the shift key while typing a letter, the letter will become capitalized. Kisses!

  5. brian

    I don’t know where that guy gets off, I just know that "slowly turning sportscenter into entertainment tonight..mindless bullshit celebrity gossip..good stuff!!" is this site’s next slogan

  6. Latent Racism and Vanderbilt University | catsandbeer.com

    [...] is it that every time I write an article suggesting that Jay Cutler appears stoned and retarded, I draw the ire of one member of the Vanderbilt community or another? Mind you, I [...]

  7. notthatjealousofproathletes

    Keith and the rest of Catsandbeer-
    Wow, just woke up and re-read my comment regarding the Cutler thread. While I obviously don’t agree with “the constant stream of pedophiles and white supremacists” that graduates from vanderbilt every year, I now recognize the hypocrisy of my post– criticizing a website for being ineffective with an unbelievably ineffective comment. After reading over the site again (this time in a sober state), I realize the fallacy of my previous post. I appologize for my unwarranted criticism and blatant lack of puncuation.

  8. brian

    I found out the answer is "maybe" – check out Bills quarterback J.P. Losman:

    wha?

    huh?

    OK, easy now …

    Yeah

    All right!

    whoa!

    hmmmmm

  9. Haley

    JAY CUTLER IS SO HOTTTT! I WANT HIM SO BAD!!!

  10. brian

    totally

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