Right-wing cable news douchebag Glenn Beck has a simple request:
You heard the man – now get to it.
Update
People have been emailing me nonstop asking what kind of shovel. I just watched the entire episode from which that clip was pulled and Beck doesn’t specify, so probably any sturdy shovel will do.
Ace Hardware has a nice selection of shovels. I’m eyeing the Seymour long handle round point but really you can’t go wrong with any of them.
Except the Ames kids one – at $9.99 you’re buying a toy, not a tool.
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50 comments
Marcus says:
Jun 30, 2011
Can we plan to kill his children and sell their body fat for profit? Young bodies yield decent yen – no?
C.donald says:
Mar 15, 2011
Someone should just beat the shit outta this guy once and for all. Smarmy fuckwit!
Sheemo says:
Feb 19, 2011
Well as long as you are already killing people, why not keep going right Washington D.C.!
FoxBaseTiger says:
Feb 11, 2011
Beck is a stochastic terrorist. If you research this term, you will find a lot of similarities between Beck and Al-Qaeda / Osama Bin-Laden. No Joke. This man is dangerous, and unbelieveably IGNORANT. He makes Rush Limbaugh sound like an ivy-league scholar. SCARY!
Raimund says:
Jan 29, 2011
I don’t care how he is killed, I just wish that someone would kill him, he is the true scum of the earth, anyone that would demonize a 77 year old woman to the point that she now gets death threats, deserves to die a horrible death, this worm is the lowest form of life on earth, and his mother should be killed also for having such an evil child….
blackplates says:
Jan 23, 2011
any shovel heavy enough will be just fine. i have a couple. just let me know.
Vince G says:
Dec 7, 2010
There is next to no logic in Beck’s arguments or rhetoric. The guy is obviously pandering to the extreme right’s paranoia. He is either really stupid, or taking advantage of the ignorance on the right. He knows that spewing unfounded controversial garbage will get ratings.
In short, he’s a clown.
Josh says:
Nov 14, 2010
Makes me sick to know that he has millions of viewers who listen to his incredulous conspiracy theories and ideas about our nation and government. It might be easier to try and debate with his ideas but he seems to change them every couple of months…. Hmm… Now why would he do that? its certainly not to keep his audience and his multi-million dollar paycheck coming, right? RIght?
Rob says:
Nov 13, 2010
You know, I used to think that Beck was an insensitive moron. Now I just think he’s insensitive. He’s not a moron. He’s smart. He knows what he’s doing. His fans, they’re the morons, and they eat that shit up. And he knows it.
Kevin Stein says:
Nov 6, 2010
I hate Glenn Beck so much…you have no idea. It makes us all look like classic racists when he claims to be speaking for you and me. “Take back America!” Take it back from who? Ohhh, I see; racist! He has created domestic animosity and stirs the pot to such a degree that people internationally think even less of us and I didn’t think that was possible.
Is it wrong to suggest kidnapping him and place him in an asylum? Modern psychotropics can do wonders for his personality type!! Barring that, a sledge hammer works well too.
I don’t advocate violence; not really. I do advocate turrning-off FOX News and its subsidiaries. It is like the Klan has a fake news station, but people don’t realize it is not news. Sorry, for my money the best fake news comes from Stephen Colbert. Rock on Colbert.
Michael says:
Sep 17, 2010
Please, Oh please! Somebody end Glen Back. He’s a parasite who needs ending!
Jim Botsford says:
Aug 15, 2010
The type of hate rhetoric espoused by Beck and others from the right is very similar to the swath of right wing political dialogue prevalent in the south about 150 years ago – subsequently over one million American died in the U.S. Civil War
Jessica says:
Jul 29, 2010
You are calling for violence and murder and are being reported by many people. Just thought you ought to know. What would you do if your messiah had a hideous website like this calling for people to kill him?? This is not just opinion trash, this is down right evil of you. Next you will be calling for all blacks to “kill they babies” referring to “crackers”. You are truly DISGUSTING and so are all of the people who supported your trash. BTW, some of you geniuses should actually WATCH his show for a few weeks to find any FAULT in what he is saying rather than jump on the hate Glenn bandwagon. There is a reason why he is only behind O’Reilly in the news charts. If I can stomach the idiot left once a week, which I do (olberman, that female twit (6 foot tall freak), and softball with thrill up my leg chris mathews) then you people ought to be able to listen to more than just the idiots who claim to know anything! Learn something for yourself, like not saying you are going to murder someone for a VIEWPOINT. None of you are Americans. You all must be from Venezuela.
Lisa says:
Aug 28, 2010
Aw now, what did Venezuela ever do to you? And…….I wouldn’t kill Beck, but only because I wouldn’t stoop low enough to soil my hands, OR my shovel. He’s an idiot of the first degree, and it fucking scares the shit out of me that so many illiterate fools have taken to him and Palin like they are the Second Coming of Christ.
Josh says:
Nov 14, 2010
Obviously you are a fan of Glenn Beck. Please, please do not reproduce. In addition, do YOU listen to him? Doesn’t matter if you are not a fan of the way things are run in our government today. His ideas are extremely exclusive and do not represent America in any way. He laughed and mocked a guy after his house burned down because the local fire department just stood and did nothing. Or is that what you want our country to be like. Would get rid of all those damn Mexicans right?
RC says:
Jul 21, 2010
Mabye not, Id try to keep the shovel after
Mike says:
Mar 24, 2010
Any of you tough guys want to meet somewhere? You can try to do to me what you want to do to another human being. Bring your shovel little man.
DoubleD says:
Mar 12, 2010
As much as I would enjoy watching the pathetic, mentally stunted, opportunist beck beaten to death with a shovel after being forced to dig his own grave with said shovel, I think it will be more satisfying to watch him self destruct. His new crusade of protesting churches that advocate social justice is going to bite him on the ass big time. We all know the mans a fraud (even most mormons) so let him blather on until he chokes to death on his on vile hate.
Eden Black says:
Mar 2, 2010
I have seriously contemplated killing this man myself. The problem is, his following is so gigantic, i think people would look at him like a marauder and worship his words even more so than now. Just a problem iv found. I think the only way to ruin him is to dismantle his reputation and status. Who’s with me?!
Mike says:
Mar 24, 2010
I would love to meet you in person. Someone with so much hate needs to be removed from this planet. So you think people look at Glenn Beck as a looter or intruder? You must be highly educated. I can’t stand him either but you are the left wing nuts that the American people hate! Let me know when and where.
Fred F says:
Feb 15, 2010
Glen Pecker is a Zionist Shill.
YABBI says:
Jan 22, 2010
Republicans are inbreds who can’t spell.
YABBI says:
Jan 22, 2010
WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT. WHY DO WE HAVE TO SEE WHAT HE SAYS. WHO GIVES A SHIT?
Jam Cutter says:
Jan 8, 2010
It doesn’t have to be a shovel. It should be quick but painful (so he’s gone as quickly as possible)
Please PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP you ignorant cunt.
Glen makes me ashamed to be a human being.
Ideas.
1. Tied to a block of concrete and thrown in the ocean
2. Forced through a steel grid
3. Crushed into an infinitesimally small point
4. Winched through a press
5. Slammed in a giant iron door
etc etc
luis says:
Dec 13, 2009
no shovel needed,i would love to do it with my bare hands. this arrogant fool so deserves it.
RIGHT WING NUT JOBS says:
Oct 24, 2009
Glen Beck is a right wing nut job.I would gladly pay for the shovel just to never hear from this raving lunatic again or fox news altogether. I have told my cable company that i don’t pay for garbage so therefore I don’t want or pay for fox news!!!
Cody says:
Oct 18, 2009
Never take a man who makes cartoon voices on his show seriously. “Thats all I have to say about that” – Tom Hanks
Jim says:
Sep 26, 2009
I am astounded by his presence on FOX! He is a leader of a Beer-Hall putsch! Leader of the illiterate, and there are many of them, regardless in a country with many intelligent and moral and educated people! He is a racist (I am a white 52 year old, some college, union member), He is a remorseless fool, guided only by his ambition, and not at all by intelligence!
Easy E. says:
Sep 21, 2009
I think it is amazing how you libs attack people. You guys are hippocrits. Remember when the Repubs had the Pres, Senate, and House all at the same time? All I heard from you libs is how we need to work together. Now you have it all, and all I hear is how we need to silence the conservative opinion. What happen to the working together? All of you act like white and black trash. How many of you are on welfare? I bet half, that’s why you go for all of this goverment takeover BS. Here’s an idea, get a job, pay 38% in taxes to the lazy libs of America, and then see how much you hate what Glenn Beck is saying. Now I know all of you are going to scream at me for being so mean spirited, thats ok, just remember to read all of the post before mine. Don’t be a hippocrit. Freedom of speech is great when you agree isn’t it?
Brian says:
Sep 21, 2009
I would like to echo Mr. E.’s request that hippocrits refrain from commenting. Thanks kyndly.
Mike says:
Oct 1, 2009
“Hypocrites.” Ahh, that’s better. Hate to be a stickler, but freedom of speech is even better when you can spell, E. Apparently you took it easy in English class as well.
No logic to Beck’s arguments; all retarded displays of emotion. Guys like that (Beck, Limbaugh, Hannity) bring no ideas to the table, only divisive rhetoric that a certain element seems to eat right up. Uber-douche.
KW says:
Oct 20, 2009
1. I am a politically moderate, with liberal leanings, and I believe in cooperation between the two sides. However, it is extremists like Glenn Beck with their constant fear-mongering (e.g. OMG SOCIALISTS & MUSLIMS ARE TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY) and disinformation and greedy, selfish politicians and lobby groups that are harming political discourse and cooperation.
2. I live in a largely conservative town, and I have spent 8 years of being told that I was “not a true American” and a “terrorist sympathizer” just for saying that I did not believe the U.S. should have gone to war with Iraq until we had *substantial evidence* that they were a legitimate threat instead of doing it on a whim. I have also been told that I should “go to Hell” for not being opposed to abortion and gay marriage. I think the liberals calling Glenn Beck a “douchebag” for having extremist views, similar to the people in my town, is a heck lot less severe than calling someone a terrorist who should burn in hell for having different opinions, don’t you think?
3. Freedom of speech is great, but other people should have the right to tell someone that he is going too far and abusing his rights to free speech. Why should the Right be allowed to say whatever they want, but the moment a liberal or a moderate calls them out on it when they go too far, the Right immediately evoke 1st Amendment and say that criticisms of the Right is an attempt to take away their freedom?
4. You accuse liberals of hurling insults, and yet your use of verbal abuse, insults, and bigoted, ignorant statements are far worse than any of the other statements that I have seen here (with the exceptions of the ones made about fighting Glenn Beck with shovels – and those are in jest). Not to mention that a lot of these comments are not attacking conservatives in general, but are rather directed at one person for being a tremendous jackass.
5. Kindly fuck off. It’s because I have encountered nothing but assholes like you in dealing with conservatives in my hometown that I have developed an aversion to conservatism in general.
6. Before going around telling other people that they need to learn about the real world, you need to learn to spell. Jackass.
Nancy says:
Sep 7, 2009
He’s comedy gold, but still dangerous, because of the large plurality that takes him seriously. Watch him for a real dose of out of this world, unreal humor. But please, for the sake of humanity, don’t take him seriously.
Wally says:
Aug 30, 2009
Actually, I’d like to shove a live grenade up his ass.
herbie says:
Aug 26, 2009
He should be an actor,steal your money pastor,gay porn writer,chicken humper, or
just plain scared to go out in public. Beck’s wife has to think twice about being seen
with him in public. People who can lie that easy believe what they say to be true!
Boo says:
Aug 24, 2009
check out the movie “A Face in Crowd” Beck isn’t new – but he’s still a douche
tony says:
Jul 2, 2009
I’m stoned off my ass and watching Glen Beck right now!!! wow is this guy ever a douchebag, but hell, is he funny! I can’t even handle the ignorance coming out of this dude’s mouth. He’s like Rush Lmbaugh on crack!!!! You think someone could talk this dumbass into doing some stand-up?! I’d pay good American dollars
herbie says:
Aug 26, 2009
Check out morning joe-glenn beck on youtube!!
Joe watches some clips from glenn becks show and cries laughing on the air!!!
Sad that people fall into that patriot contest of who loves there country more.
Thought and reason not an option after gay beck looks at his $$$$$$.
ratinging my ass!!! gerry springer is still on!
scott says:
Jul 2, 2009
I believe Glen Beck is actually a genious actor playing an intricately twisted parody of the Right Wing TV news host character. That is the only way I can understand such an insane person can exist in this world.
C.W says:
Apr 6, 2009
I’ll Do It.. I Hate that Stupid Fucker…
herbie says:
Aug 26, 2009
Lets find him! Kick em in the nuts from the back and take pictures! Rock on!
Brian says:
Jul 29, 2008
I don’t know why he’s a douche(bag), but man is he ever a douche(bag)
Porno King says:
Jul 26, 2008
I don’t get why he’s a douche? Because he’s a conservative? I’m by no means a conservative. Far from it. But that can’t be a reason why he’d be a douche. Some people just have different political opinions than we do. It’s a fact of life. Doesn’t make them a douche though. I’ve seen this guy’s show and he comes off as a really nice guy. He let’s his guests share their beliefs and he doesn’t try to interrupt or try to spin anything on them. Unlike Bill O’Reily or Keith Oberman. (Whatever his name is.) They are a couple of douches to their guests and to other people. But Glen Beck, no. Like the episode with William Shatner. They disagreed on a lot of stuff. But it was a spirited debate. They both found that they ultimately wanted the same thing but they had different strategies to obtain it. Umm… I wish this two party biases would go away and everyone would work together and respect another’s opinions. Our political system would be a lot more productive. And also, why is it just the two parties that get the most attention? There are more parties out there. Like the Libertarian Party for instance. They are neither Conservative or Liberal. This country could probably use more of their insight these days.
tony says:
Jul 29, 2009
it has nothing with being a conservative. i am a conservative and i think he is a douche because he thinks the half white president doesn’t like white people. he is an idiot. get him off the air..please. he is hurting our nation with his bullshit. and he is hurting the conservative cause.
John H says:
May 3, 2008
I agree with JHinAZ that an entrenching tool is the appropriate implement in this case. Like most chicken-hawks Beck would not even know what an entrenching tool is.
A better idea is to buy children’s sand shovels and mail them to Beck. On the other hand he probably would not get the message.
JHinAZ says:
May 3, 2008
I think it would be poetic justice to use a good ol’ military surplus entrenching tool/shovel. They’re great for close-in fighting.
KYJurisDoctor says:
May 3, 2008
Hilarious. Just take Glen Beck for who he is. Frankly, I am still befuddled as to how he managed to land his job!
mayhempix says:
May 3, 2008
I would use the same shovel he uses to shovel the sh*t he espouses.
Nevada Blue says:
May 3, 2008
How about a steam shovel?
nacho mamma says:
May 3, 2008
It would be a waste of a good shovel.