Man oh man, if there’s one thing White People love more than these 10 rap songs it’s taking jokes way too seriously and throwing the word "racist" around like they do Frisbees. I’m sorry my silly little list got some of you so heated – I only hope that while furiously typing out your angry comments you didn’t accidentally spill Jamba Juice on your MacBook.
Anyway, a common response to my Rap Songs White People Love article was to demand a Rock Songs Black People Love companion piece. And guess what: just this once, White People are going to get their way.
Submitted by a reader, this is the first guest columnist-penned piece in site history. It’s funny and it serves not only as a great follow-up, but also to give me another day to finish the article I’m writing that will shut down the Internet (which means that if you have any important online banking or social networking to do, consider this your 24-hour warning).
Without further ado, catsandbeer.com (and a Black Person) proudly present:
The Top 10 Rock Songs Black People Love, A Post Written By A Black Person
1. Smoke On The Water – Deep Purple
Every black person secretly knows, headbangs and plays air guitar to the opening riffs of this one, as soon as white people aren’t watching.
"Got to admit, yo that opening part is DEF. Ya got to admit. Give it up."
2. Schoolboy Crush – Average White Band
We like it so much we sampled it for rap about 2,887,745 times in about six thousand raps.
"Yo yo yo, naw, them white boys in this one tore this one up. Got to admit." "Word."
3. Play That Funky Music – Wild Cherry
See #2.
4. Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard
Fill a room with black folks, start this video on the TV, and by the end of the second bar of that guitar intro every black person has turned around watching the screen. If whites are in the room, we will smirk, nod, then resume talking and drinking with you.
If no whites are in the room, one wannabe-hardcore-looking black guy will move in to switch the TV off, saying, "What y’all watching this crazy— white s–t for?" Other black folk in the room will move in and block him from the TV.
"Whoa whoa whoa. Calm down. No." Pause. "I like this."
Guaranteed.
Black folk, admit you have been in a room where this happened.
6a. I Don’t Want Your Love or 6b. Notorious – Duran Duran
In fact, anything recorded by Duran Duran before the Liberty album. Duran Duran is the only white group ALL black people mysteriously like.
Go ask your favorite black person today.
6. I Don’t Want To Fall In Love – Jane Childs
All black women consider Jane Childs the most authentically black-sounding white woman who has ever sung a note in public. Jane tore up that song. Give it up y’all.
However, the white female rock song ALL black women secretly sing along to with no brothers or white folk sitting around watching, is…
7. (Damn) I Wish I Was Your Lover – Sophie B. Hawkins
All of us like this song and sing along with it. We have all been there, and this white woman nailed it respectably.
Another white female rock song black people (especially black women) like is:
8. Tell It To My Heart or anything else by Taylor Dayne
Admit it, sistas: we have all whispered to each other that Ms. Dayne looks or must be part-black, because otherwise "there is no way on earth she could sing that well if she wasn’t at least part black" … right?
9. Anything by Sinatra
Now I know Frank Sinatra doesn’t qualify to many fools as a rock star, but according to the teenage girls of the 1940′s he was, and every black man in the recording industry wishes he were Frank and will give instant big props to Ol’ Blue Eyes.
Black people are kind of like Italians. We ALL worship Frank Sinatra. We also wish Frank had been black because he was that cool.
And finally:
10. Anything by Steely Dan or the solo Donald Fagen
All black people like Steely Dan. Any black folk who claims he doesn’t hasn’t heard them yet.
Want to get black folks in a comfortable mood at a party with the lights all low, and get them nice and friendly with the white people also at the party? Throw on some Steely Dan and see how the colors mingle and black folk start waxing rhapsodic on how many white musicians are quite gifted.
Once again: all black people like and will listen to Steely Dan. The Doobie Brothers come close on this black respect meter, but nobody touches the Dan.
However, bear in mind that most people know rock music was created by black people, so this top 10 comparison might be actually kind of moot. Did I miss any?
Signed, a black woman named …
Oh yeah and all black folks love
11. KC & The Sunshine Band (Bonus!)
We will not switch that off if it comes on the radio. We listen to it. Period. But we generally like the rest of the album more than we do the singles.
"I’m Your Boogieman" is one of those.
Peace.
Signed,
Yvette
Whoops – one more – my sister just chimed in with
12. Led Zeppelin (Double Bonus!)
"All black people have at least a little respect for Led Zeppelin songs."
I agree, she is right.
OK, that’s all from me.
Postscript
So there you have it. And what’s interesting to note is that, just like on the White People list, NONE of these songs are less than a decade old. In fact, most of them are considerably older than their White People counterparts. Hey, I guess White People and Black People aren’t that different after all …
It’s at this point that I would like to put up a poll asking "What Black People-beloved rock song most deserved to make the list?," but unfortunately (and I do mean unfortunately) I am neither
- black, nor
- knowledgeable about rock music.
So I leave it to you, the Catsandbeer.com community, to tell me which hits gotsa make the list. My one request is that only Black People or Not-Black People Who Know Black People In Real Life submit suggestions. This is, after all, for science.
Thanks for understanding.
Update
Wow, I’m impressed by the variety/extent of the discussion still going on in the comments section of the page – thanks to everyone that’s taken time to chime in.
I finally sat down to go through the suggestions posted and quickly realized there was no way I could create a poll asking what specific songs should have made the list. So instead, I’m going to go with asking which artists should have been included.
As everyone has correctly pointed out, the original list wasn’t just rock songs, so with that in mind I’ve tried to be very precise with the phrasing of this poll question.
Vote!
Let your voices be heard and please tell me …
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From my experience the actual ‘rock’ songs black people went batshit over were, by decade:
70′s-"Benny and the Jets" by Elton John-This song had Black America by the balls for quite a while, being the only rock song to actually hit #1 on the urban charts.
70′s Honorable Mention-"Roxanne" by The Police
80′s-"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen-Black stations had this on heavy rotation.
80′s Honorable Mention-"Addicted To Love" by Robert Palmer-Even my at-the time 52 year old black father loved this song.
As for your list:
#1-I’ve never experienced the synchronistic coming-together of this song and a black person, but my intuition says it would draw laughs and mocking.
#2-There are scores of songs like this that could have made the list, featuring a riff that was lifted in its entirety. Rap has moved increasingly away from this practice over the last decade, so only someone old enough to recognize "Microphone Fiend" would get it. A more interesting choice would have been the song "A Love of Your Own" by AWB. I actually got into a heated argument while listening to that song with my ex-girlfriend because she was convinced they were black.
#3-70′s funk, popular with Black People from that time.
#4-I never had this experience. It sounds like a bad dream.
#6a-You’re definitely right about Duran Duran. All black people who grew up during the early to mid 80′s like a lot of the New Wave Pop. Think Human League, Pet Shop Boys, Flock of Seagulls, Tears For Fears, etc., but NOT Devo or Talking Heads. In addition, not an hour goes by without some adult contemporary R&b station in this country playing "True" by Spandau Ballet.
#6-This song I believe hit #1 on the R&B charts.
#7-We’re in the beginning of the 90′s, when the music is becoming darker. I would have put Lisa Stansfield here. Every black woman between age 30 to 45 owns a copy of her debut album.
#8-Black people do love Taylor Dayne, but isn’t this Miami freestyle?
#9-This ties in to Black America’s odd fetish for all things Italian.
#10-Older blacks like Steely Dan, but they do not bump the Doobies from the list. Steely Dan is jazzy, and therefore more accessible. The Doobie Brothers actually had black people listening to Black Water, a goddamn hillbilly song about smoking joints while catfishing in Mississippi. They were so damn popular with black people they were on 2 episodes of What’s Happening! Also, Michael Mcdonald has always done very well on the black radio stations and charts.
You could have listed "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins, "Careless Whisper" or "One More Try" by George Michael. Or to bring this list more in line with the spirit of Brian’s White list, add "Please Don’t Go Girl" or "I’ll Be Loving You Forever" by New Kids on The Block, because believe it or not they were immensely popular with black females of all ages back then. I still remember watching them performing to an all black crowd on Showtime at the Apollo and every girl in the audience was yelling "go whiteboy, go whiteboy" when they were doing "Right Stuff." They were screaming as loud as white audiences did. Simply Red and Rick Astley also did very well with black people.As far as rock from the 80′s…maybe The Police, Pat Benetar, Steve Winwood, Foreigner, Journey, etc.
Here’s an idea: 10 White People Black People Have Adopted. #1-Bill Clinton, #2-Teena Marie…
Your choices are good though half of them aren’t rock. An interesting thing is how all of these songs skew toward an older demographic. My explanation would be that blacks up until the late 80′s were forced to watch MTV and all of those late night video shows that came on Fridays and Saturdays if they wanted to see music videos. You had no other choice or options with so few channels. Therefore they were exposed to many white musicians they might otherwise not have listened to. But with BET people could start self-segregating. Still, in the late 80′s and early 90′s you could still see white artists on BET because the channel was aimed at adults. The turning point came around 95-96′ when BET’s programming format changed to get better ratings. The channel got rid of the adult contemporary format and almost every show was aimed at the teenage demographic. Adult R&B, Underground Hip-Hop, and any faces over 30 virtually disappeared within a few years. Now homogeneity rules, and whites hear far, far more black musicians then blacks hear white musicians.
I think Yvette needs to have a regular column on catsandbeer.com
[...] Once you’re done here, be sure to check out The Top 10 Rock Songs Black People Love, A Post Written By A Black Person. [...]
This is a crap post pop rock are al all based on black music!! So why should blacks secretly listen to it know your history.
But most important music is not black or white its just music so you either like it or you don’t
Im black
i like Metallica Black album
Rolling Stonnes
Wolfmother
Nirvana
Linkin Park
Alice cooper Pioson
Black Sabbath
AC/DC
KISS
Silverchair
SLIPKNOT
Marylin Manson (the earlier stuff)
Queens of the stone ager
RadioHead
Coldplay
The Artic Monkees
THe Hyves
amd much much more
I am also a "Black" rock fan and I don’t think you guys know the difference between Rock, Disco and Pop, seeing anyone any color would only consider four of those songs "Rock"…..
Most of this list kicks ass, no matter what color you are. Anyway, cool selection, and to everyone who apparently has a huge problem with the music choice, remember, YOU are the exception that proves the rule.
"Bennie and the Jets" was on Soul Train as was "Philadelphia Freedom" – both Elton John Tunes. Also "Golden Years" by David Bowie was also on ST – giving it considerable blackness. These were rockers that did black music at one point. While Duran Duran, Def Leppard, Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple are rock bands, everything else is Funk, Soul or RnB Music. I wouldn’t mention Robin Thicke or Lisa Stansfield or Hall and Oates in this list, nor would I mention Taylor Dayne or Sophie B. Hawkins because they did not do rock tunes. (Well, H+O did "Rock and Soul") "White" doesn’t necessarily equal "Rock". But, as one white boy who loves black music – thank you for your insight!
[...] response to the Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love, here we have the Top 10 Rock Songs Black People Love (Written by a black person) which just goes to show you that crappy music knows no racial boundries. ADD THIS POST TO: Posted [...]
FUCKING BLACK-WHITE PEOPLE.
i would have to say that in my lifetime the song that a lot of black people liked by a true rock band was queen’s " another one bites the dust " it came out my senior year in high school and a lot of my friends didn’t even know that the song was by white british dudes – we had a really good football team that year, and i can remember car stereos and boom boxes blasting " another one bites the dust " as we walked from the locker room to the field – great memory about that