And I mean fucking LOVE. When these songs come on, White People look at each other and say "Awwww yeah" or "Hell yeah" and are compelled to sing along. Sometimes there’s also a corresponding stupid dance move.
Having studied White People for 27 28 29 30 years, my authority on the topic is absolute; this list is damn near bullet proof.
The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love
10. Positive K – I Got A Man
White People’s most beloved rap duet.
White Girls in particular love this song because it gives them a chance to playfully reject a male suitor’s advances on the dance floor before blowing him at the end of the night. It’s empowering.
9. Digital Underground – The Humpty Dance
Humpty Hump was rap music’s greatest alter ego and actually a good MC but all White People know (and love) him for is "I like my oatmeal lumpy," and "Burger King bathroom."
Fucking White People.
8. Biz Markie – Just A Friend
Oh my god do White People love this song. Particularly frat boys. Why? I don’t know.
Unlike most of his peers on this list, the Biz is a guy long deep in the hip hop scene with lots of cred, yet to White People he’ll only ever be that fat funny-looking black guy with the wig who sings bad.
7. Young MC – Bust A Move
I believe there is a law that requires this song be played at every Rock n’ Bowl.
Like that the police shut down the bowling alley if it doesn’t comply.
6. Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock – It Takes Two
Knowing the words up to "I get stupid, I mean outrageous" is standard and unremarkable.
Knowing everything up through the hook means you’ll be frenching at 80s Night.
5. Naughty By Nature – Hip Hop Hooray
Before he was shooting porn and marrying/divorcing Pepa (a near miss on this list herself), Treach was teaching White People the world over how to wave their arms from side to side above their heads while singing nursery rhymes.
Hip Hop Hooray is not only a great way to melodically celebrate life, it’s something to buy airbrushed on a T-shirt when you’re at the beach for a week on your summer vacation to show that you’re down.
4. Tag Team – Whoomp (There It Is)
Man, what was the fucking story about this song and the other one that came out at exactly the same time by, I believe, 95 South called "Whoot There It Is?" Somebody fucked somebody else over big time there.
The weird thing about this song – ubiquitous and beloved by Wisconsin grandmothers that it is – is that its lyrics contain the words "motherfucking," "nigga," "shit," and references to smoking dank. Crazy!
I remember watching The Box video network (where I learned everything I know about Black People) and seeing Tag Team’s follow-ups to this one: "Whoomp (Si Lo Es)" and "Addam’s Family Whoomp." I’m not kidding.
3. Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby
This one song on the list that White People pretend to only like ironically. Don’t be fooled: deep down White People still think Ice is 110% gangsta.
I remember back in the day "battling" another sixth grader at the ice skating rink in who could rap the first verse of this song the fastest. The kid was Asian, so I won.
2. House of Pain – Jump Around
White People will never be completely comfortable with Black Music so anytime they’re given the opportunity to like a song by one of their own race they go fucking overboard (see this record and all five thousand Eminem songs).
If you’ve ever seen Black People comedy, you’ll be familiar with the notion that White People have no rhythm and can’t dance. This is true. That’s why they will embrace with both honky arms any song that makes it OK for them to not actually dance during it or that tells them exactly what to do and when to do it.
If you go to a club and this fucking song comes on all the White People will literally jump around. I fucking promise you.
1. Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back
Go to a karaoke bar – get the song list – check the rap section – if there’s only one song, this is the song – every fucking time, this is the song.
This, like a number of the other rap songs White People love, features prominently sexual themes addressed in a humorous fashion. I think it’s White People’s inherent prudish squareness that makes them get all giddy about "naughty" rapper songs.
Honorable Mention
In no particular alphabetical order:
- 2 Live Crew: Me So Horny – Too dirty for Old White People (a significant percentage of All White People) to make the list. But man, how times have changed – remember the reaction to this shit when it came out? Florida was ready to lynch Uncle Luke. Today he’s Jeb Bush’s golfing buddy.
- 50 Cent: In Da Club – Fiddy!
- Arrested Development: People Everyday – "Tennessee" has the more famous name but it’s not the one that fifteen years later is still being played every night in every club in Ecuador (and probably other backwards countries too). Ditto Madonna’s "Like A Prayer," but that’s a different list.
- Beastie Boys: Girls/Brass Monkey/(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party) – White People collectively love all three of these songs but not individually enough to crack the top ten.
- Black Sheep – The Choice Is Yours (This Or That): Not quite famous enough to make the list, but man is it ever fun to say "You can get with this / or you can get with that" a hundred times in three minutes.
- Juvenile: Back That Azz Up – As you can see, it’s basically impossible for White People to truly love your rap song if it’s less than a decade old. Still, Juvenile got close with this one which features a verse from a significantly Lil’-er Wayne.
- Lil’ Jon and the Eastside Boyz: Get Low – HHH v2 with the arm movements plus what other song lets you yell about jizz to total strangers?
- Nelly: Hot in Herre – Again with the whites getting titillated by suggestive lyrics. Nelly is the white Justin Timberlake.
- Notorious B.I.G.: Big Poppa – You know, ’cause White People can be 350-pound black gangsta romeos too (actually by definition they cannot).
- Puff Daddy: It’s All About The Benjamins – Diddy!
- Salt n’ Pepa: Push It – This and "Let’s Talk About Sex" ruled the roller rinks back in the day but neither could get these gals into the Top 10. Still, much respect to the pair (or triumvirate if you count Spinderella’s stinking ass) for being the women that got the closest.
- Tone Loc: Wild Thing – Wild Thing or Funky Cold Medina? Wild gets the nod since the only words 99% of people know to Funky Cold Medina are "Funky Cold Medina."
- Tupac Shakur: California Love – Had to have a 2Pac song on this list. I think White People love Pac because he makes them feel like they’ve lost a friend to gang violence.
- Will Smith: Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It – Ironically, just not jiggy enough to make the list (and yes I know Nas wrote it).
- Wreckx-N-Effect: Rump Shaker – Remember the girl playing the saxophone on the beach in this video? Man, the White People were right about this one …
OK, that’s my list. Let me know me yours, what I left off, and where I fucked up.
Update 1
White People: let your nasally voices be heard – vote!
Loading ...Update 2
The Black People have spoken! (at least one of them has)
Once you’re done here, be sure to check out The Top 10 Rock Songs Black People Love, A Post Written By A Black Person.
Update 3
All right, all right – everybody’s a critic – that’s cool – but answer me this:
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dude, i’m white.
of your list, only ‘baby got back’ is a song i’m even kinda into.
i think you need to check your idiot filter.
Your list is true… to an extent… i’m white and would fall more into the category of hip hop afficianodo than into the category of “wedding going white guy” who only knows rap through sit-coms, pop radio stations, or terrible bar jukeboxes….
also the last post before mine reaffirms your list, not discounts it
You are spot on. I’ve been djing for years, and this is like the white people’s hip hop playlist.
Word. I DJed kareoke for a while an not one night, not ONE was there not a group of drunk white guys stumbling through Baby Got Back.
This IS a white person’s hip-hop playlist.
Yeah man, I’m white and I get where you’re coming from on a few of these…But this really should be categorized as "Songs that douchebags (who are often white) love." And come on – even douchebags don’t like "Whoomp there it is."
Truth be told, 10-7 are pretty on the money, as well as your top 2. But those other five simply tells me that you are hangin’ with some LAME ass white people.
Being a 30 year old white guy from the suburbs, most of my fellow honkies prefer to go nuts over: all tracks from The Chronic, selected Tribe Called Quest songs, and Ice Cube after he stopped scaring us.
Change the word “douchebags” to “corporate advertising whores”, and you will be more on spot, I think. Many of these tunes have been commercialized in one way or another by somebody simultaneously making a buck off popular black culture while sterilizing it enough to make it palatable for stuffy white audiences. I will say though that I DO enjoy most of the tunes on the list and am what most folks would consider “painfully white”. :D
It’s an incredibly accurate list. One omission though: Kriss Kross – Jump Around.
The Kris Kross track was just called "Jump" and I haven’t heard it since 6th grade.
How lame am I? I have most of these tracks in a playlist I call "Novelty Hip Hop". I’d add Bel Biv Devoe’s "Poison" to the list (Never trust a big butt and a smile).
In defense of House of Pain, you have to realize that they were an Irish group, first and foremost, and their following (to this day) in Boston and other Irish-American communities is still huge. You can’t go to a St Pat’s day Parade without getting slammed by that song. Attributing this song to people who can’t dance is like saying that anyone that likes the Dropkick Murphys is just a punk-fan wannabe.
If anyone can find it, there’s a great mashup of the "Humpty Dance" and NIN’s "Down In It" out there.
[...] The Top Ten Rap Songs White People Love October 10th, 2007 by Filed under: Baby | [...]
[...] Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love  [...]
Missing many newer rap songs about absolutely nothing such as the now classic "This Is Why I’m Hot" by Mims and "Crank Dat" By Soulja Boy. If it makes no sense whatsoever and only serves to annoy, white people will LOVE IT!!!!!!
im not white and i like #2 that must be because i’m a stupid and not smart like you
First off, let me just say that pretty much everyone agreeing with this bullshit, black, white, or other, is being retardedly racist. I’m white, and the only part of my heritage that isn’t white was about 4 generations back, and I like 1 song out of every single song listed both on the original list and the following( It Was A Good Day). The ignorance surrounding this post is honestly pathetic. I probably know more about modern rap, present rappers, retired/dead rappers, rap history, and rap theory than the idiot who posted this, and definitely have more love for the music. Next time you think you’re being clever or funny, find a heavy blunt object and hit yourself in the face with it instead of posting something. The top rappers that have any effect on the game are Eminem, The Game, Lil Wayne, and somewhat Gucci Mane, Drake(give him some time) and Soulja Boy(meaning he’s showing actual skill on songs like Bingo and Pronto).
If that is your choice of top rappers… You need to seriously reconsider the next time you try to sound like you know anything about hip hop culture… Soulja boy? Yea.. Ok.. Lol.. Btw… The post is meant to be funny.. This guy is a dj who is pointing out that there are some songs that get the attention of a lot of white people who are not typically interested in rap/hip hop… So chill out and stop attacking people.. I would be shocked to find one person other than yourself who thought that your post was worth the time you put into it… If you really need to relieve some tension.. Don’t go online and make yourself look like a jackass.. Try playing a sport.. Or masturbating.. At least then you wouldn’t be bothering people who don’t want to hear from you.
-Bboy Supaman
Because your post was so amazingly well thought, intelligent, and worth reading. Just in case you’re ignorant, or just naive enough to make a 3 year old look Harvard-educated, that was sarcasm. First off, I don’t give a fuck about hip hop culture, because there is a difference between hip hop and rap and rap is the only one of the two worth listening to. As far as my choice in rappers, I don’t see any reason why I should even think about reconsidering. You certainly haven’t made any comments that would do so, and yeah, Soulja Boy, but not the Soulja Boy you’re thinking of, because an ignorant prick like you probably doesn’t know anything about him beyond “Crank That”, “Birdwalk”, and maybe “Kiss Me Through the Phone”, which all suck ass. Matter of fact, you’re probably a 50 Cent fan, and Jay-Z to boot. Next time you feel the need to act like you know more about anything than anyone who’s older than 2, do the world a favor and just kill yourself
First of all, let me start by saying you’re an idiot. Rap is not hip hop? And you wanna talk about naive? Hip hop is composed of five elements, one of those being MCing, or rapping. Stop trying to pretend like you know something until you know the roots. Rapping sprang from DJ Kool Herc in the West Bronx with the block parties that he threw. Afrika Bambaataa and Grandmaster Flash are the names you should be throwing respect to. These are people worth knowing. Not an artist, like soulja boy who started out true to the game, recording on his own personal equipment, publishing to soundclick.com because he loved it. But now he is a sell out. Birdwalk and Crank Dat are ridiculous attempts at rapping. He is an insult to rapping as a culture. Maybe he will get back to his roots one day, but for now he is lame. The real rap scene and culture is underground. That’s how it has always been. Don’t talk until you know something. It just makes you sound ignorant.
Bboy Supaman
First off I can’t reply to your most recent comment so no, I’m not an idiot for replying here. Secondly, I think we’ve had a misunderstanding. When I gave my list of top rappers it was in reference to artists who are positively affecting the rap game in the modern era, which for me is the last couple months. I’m not suggesting they are the top rappers ever, although personally I count The Game and Em as some of my favorites. I can appreciate where you are coming from with the development of hip hop through the late 70′s and 80′s and I hold nothing but respect for any of the the artists and groups that both performed and grew up in that era. However, I personally regard hip hop in the modern era as lacking most of the good qualities of old school hip hop, therefore I have made the distinction that Emcees and producers dedicated to originality both in music and lyrics are in rap, and everyone with cookie-cutter beats and rapping only about being/getting rich, fucking hos/bitches, and being awesome are in hip hop, which is a dumpster of shit. As far as Soulja Boy goes, I only suggest him because he is growing, changing, starting to think beyond modern hip hop “rapping”. He’s on a path to becoming a real rapper, in my opinion, similar to Drake, who will someday be fairly good in my opinion. As far as you suggesting that I don’t know about real rap and the underground scene, you should probably keep assumptions to yourself. I’m an underground rapper myself, and personally I couldn’t give a fuck if I ever become famous or make any money at all. Honestly I wouldn’t mind losing money to do it, because I love it.
Dont really care about none of this and you had up until you said hip – hop is about getting rich and fucking hos when that is completely flase. i see you didnt get another comment because you really make no sence. its not hip hop its rap. the rap game, commercial rap has fallen so far. its all about getting hos and money and nothing is real anymore. and solja boy is not a positive anything to the rap game. i feel sorry for ma black people that watch 106 n park and endure this foolishness idiots call music. If you want good music turn to some alternitive rock.seriously. the lyrics couldnt be more deep. rap and hip hop is just not the way to go. EVER. yes im black and im bashing hip hop and rap. owellz
Jonathan Coulton’s got the ultimate White Man’s cover of "Baby Got Back"
Ben Fold’s has got the ultimate White Man’s cover of "Bitches Ain’t Shit"
The Gourds have got the ultimate White Man’s cover of "Gin and Juice"
All three are genius. All three make me say "Hell Yeah."