Beyonce: ‘I Is Cute, Floofy, And Wearin A Blue Sweater’

NEW YORK (AP) — The Energizer Bunny has nothing on Beyonce.

Beyonce on stage

In the past year and a half, the pop superstar has put out the multiplatinum album "B’Day," starred in the Oscar-nominated musical "Dreamgirls," and launched her Dereon clothing line. Just before one of her concert stops, Beyonce took time out to talk to catsandbeer.com about her jam-packed year.

Q: Does it ever get easy to dance on stage in high heels?

BEYONCE: Oooo I jus’ wanna moosh my faisch up againscht hersch and rub and give her kischhesszz and purrr and let her sschleeepschummorrr..!!!!

Q: You’ve had quite a hectic year — what has been the hardest part of it?

Beyonce Knowles has faced adversity

BEYONCE: I is cute, floofy, and wearin’ a blue sweater. What more can ya ask of a puppeh?

Q: When you released "B’Day," although it got critical acclaim, there was also a lot of criticism. How did you handle that?

BEYONCE: i wuv widdle hammie handies and feetsies!! dey tickle! eeeeeeeeeeeek!!

Beyonce keeps it real

Q: Were you surprised by the success of “Irreplaceable?”

BEYONCE: O kitteh, do not disapprove of me, I will snorgle you and scritch behind your ears and kiss your fuzzy tummy . . .

Q: You auditioned and hired an all-female band for the tour. What has it been like?

BEYONCE: Wanna shrink down to the size of dis kitteh and snorgles wid deh cute widdle tumtum!!!!! Wanna!!.

Q: So it’s not true that women can’t get along?

BEYONCE: BUNNYbunnyBUNNYbunnyBUNNYbunnyBUNNY bunnyBUNNYbunnyBUNNYbunnyBUNNY! Un-be-lievably tiniest baby cottontail bunbun! BUNNY!

Beyonce dishes the dirt

Q: I’ve been reading you’re going to do another musical — Elton John’s "Aida."

BEYONCE: aaaa wooowoooooo gooo goooo ga ga poopie snorrfle pooperoo! patootie wootie burger wooooo wooo gooo ga ga ga tooooopie poopie!!!

Q: The gossip sites are always running something about you. Do you troll them? Do you ever feel like posting an anonymous comment?

BEYONCE: Mommmmmm, dees ees sooo embaressing! I shall cover my eyes and pretend you aren’t leekin my bootie in front of everyone

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Brian

Brian recently updated his "about the author" mini-bio because he had the same old one for too long and Keith changes his every once in a while.

19 responses to “Beyonce: ‘I Is Cute, Floofy, And Wearin A Blue Sweater’”

  1. Short Ends: The Landlord 2027 at

    [...] come before. [via Gone Elsewhere] · We’re not even going to try and explain what’s going on here. · Even Natalie Raitano’s got a blog now. Thanks, Rosie, for making it all seem so [...]

  2. Company Town

    Short Ends: The Landlord 2027…

    · The above clip, kind of an introduction to this new My Damn Channel site (finally, a place for…

  3. confused

    i don’t get it. but at least i clicked on your ads :)

  4. Trashed! Celebrity Goss!

    Short Ends: The Landlord 2027…

    ยท The above clip, kind of an introduction to this new My Damn Channel site (finally, a place for funny…

  5. blissery

    i don’t get it either

  6. Andrew

    Ask a Gut Shot Beyonce!

  7. Luminous Phenomenon

    This was soooooooooooooooooooooooo STUPID. Not funny, not witty, not groundbreaking, not even mildly humorous. Too bad for you…LOL And she made $80 million last year alone (forbes.com), maybe she should buy you some writing talent.

  8. Luminous Phenomenon

    Gay black man? LOL…your very predictable, and thanks for reminding me of how the ignorant low-lives of society perceive me. Don’t be mad because what I typed was true. No one even got it (you did get a few pennies for the ad clicks – use them wisely)! Anyway, groundbreaking performance or not…she got paid lovely for it. How much do you get paid for your idiotic banter? I’m sure not much if anything at all. I have become bored so I am done with this, I will just sit back and let you bask in your fake arrogance. Oh, and be careful before I snatch that cat outta your hands and throw it in a microwave.

  9. Luminous Phenomenon

    See how easy it was to cirumvent? Screw the avatar (even though that was one of my favorite models Jourdan Dunn – she walked in the Prada show and was amazing). Now go ahead and be a little wuss and erase my replies.

  10. Luminous Phenomenon

    <—- Jourdans back! Awww…now Miss Brian wants to be nice. It’s real interesting how you left a comment saying “don’t try to cirumvent my spam protection”…after you marked my email as spam. Look, I don’t enjoy being mean either but you brought it on yourself. I’m done though…and I guess I won. I am gay only because I was born underneath a rainbow, which makes me special. Okay Okay…good luck, have fun, bye.

  11. Luminous Phenomenon

    I can’t. I can’t take all this passive aggressive, long-winded banter. I must admit that standing up for Beyonce how I did gives me mixed feelings, because at the end of the day we don’t know each other so in essence she cares nothing about me at all. Still, I typed what I typed and having to go back and forth with you (interrupting my music downloads in the process) is the direct consequence. It’s kind of fun, but it also reminds me of someone scratching their fake acrylic nails across a blackboard while at the same time yodeling…annoying as f_ _ _. I am a lot of things, but one thing that I am NOT is delusional. Nor am I some angry loser who wants to find whatever excuse they can to argue with someone. I have too much pedigree for that. Your “Gay black man” comment not only shows that you took time out of your oh-so busy schedule to look at my myspace…but it also shows that you were trying to be funny (while manipulating the situation and claiming to “respectfully disagree”). I can handle it though, and honestly that’s what I am…A GAY BLACK MAN…so at the end of the day I have to let that one go. Good work. Still, anyone with even a small percentage of intellegence can read your replies and detect the passive aggressiveness and manipulation they embody. And I KNEW that you would squeeze the word nigger in there somewhere (passive aggresively of course, which seems to be your style). Your feigned innocence is very amusing.

    Anyway, like I said, I am getting bored with this. You erased this comment from the replies after blocking my email address and leaving your first comment (the text below is copied from my email letting me know a reply comment was actually made):

    There is a new comment on the post “Beyonce: ‘I Is Cute, Floofy, And Wearin A Blue Sweater’”.
    http://www.catsandbeer.com/cel.....ue-sweater

    Author: Brian
    Comment:
    I also failed to mention that your attempts to circumvent my spam protection will not work – this site runs w/ akismet which is a great tool

    See all comments on this post here:
    http://www.catsandbeer.com/cel.....r#comments

    [end]

    This is what I was referring to when I said mentioned how easy it actually was to circumvent your spam protection. I’m done though (for real this time) so have fun with whatever you will do for the rest of the day, or have fun posting another comment to make me look angry and unfocused…while you play the role of the more intelligent, innocent, and calm one. Either choice you make I am not interested and I already made my point with the first comment I ever put on this post. Anything else is just you trying to get back at me in your style. Oh, and this isn’t about race because my boyfriend is white (Jewish even) and I adore him. Bye love…and may Yahweh bless you;^) Oh, and if everything in this reply runs together and looks like one huge paragraph that’s my fault…oh well.

  12. Luminous Phenomenon

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sw6DLFB8pWE

    ^If you turn this song up loud and pay attention to the vocal arrangement this song is amazing!

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=a-_VqraKAgM

    ^Same thing with this one, love the end.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=uahLDNBult4

    ^Love this song and the video (the first two don’t have videos because they were unreleased). The two gay black men in the beginning (dressing her) choreographed this whole video.

  13. Luminous Phenomenon

    Hi Brian. I am at work right now so I can’t devote much more time to this uhm…stuff. I feel how I feel and you feel how you feel, nothing will change that. I didn’t even read the message above because at this point this all is getting kind of weird (plus it is too long and I didn’t want to waste the time). The fact remains that your Beyonce interview post was stupid and no one even got it. You can type a novel but it still won’t change that fact. Have fun with your site and I wish you nothing. Not even the best. If you put as much effort into this site (which I will admit is kind of funny – just not this post) as you do with your comebacks for me I am sure you and your fabulous friend Keith (who looks great in stilletos and gives a mean drag performance by the way) will be very very successful. Who would have known one little comment made by me could cause so much drama? Wow, I feel special. Anyway, bye love…;^).

  14. Luminous Phenomenon

    THE END…GAME OVER…Bye everyone!

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