Apocalyptic Visions

I endorse none of what follows. I did not ask to be the messenger of this information. My stomach turns at the thought of any of it….

Lindsay Lohan plus anal warts

I was visited in a dream by what I believe to be an angel, sent from a higher spiritual realm to transmit a vision to me, one that I must pass on to the world.


Paris Hilton plus genital warts

Although androgynous, I say with some certainty that he showed me a future world - a world where the most odious celebrities have fused with their STD’s to create an all-consuming super race of horrifying monsters. While the most finely tuned hand of the most skilled painter could not render even a glimpse of the horrors I witnessed, I do my best to bring this vision to you.

Hugh Jackman plus gonorrhea

Not even God can save us now. :(

Rachel Specter plus syphilis

About the Author

Your beloved author Keith

Keith

Keith lives in Colorado, breathes in Kansas, sleeps in New Mexico, eats in Oklahoma, shits in Nebraska, (very rarely) vomits in Arizona, shops in Wyoming and skis in Utah. He has legislation pending before the Colorado legislature to annex a strip of land that would connect Colorado to South Dakota in which case he'll probably sightsee there. Sightseeing isn't really a necessity, but then again neither are shopping or skiing. But, it's nice to get away to an adjoining territory now and again, isn't it?

One Response to Apocalyptic Visions

  1. Brian

    hey pal, what’s your beef with Rachel Specter? I can only imagine what you’re planning for the series premiere of Not Another High School Show - I wouldn’t put it past you to learn HTML for the occasion just so you can feel like you have the tools to savage her to your satisfaction - asshole

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