Keith
Keith is standing right behind you watching you read this, so just play it cool. You know he's gonna want you to act all complimentary when you're done so just play along. It was garbage but you don't have to hurt the dude's feeling. It's not like it was so bad that you have to insult the kid. Well, it was pretty bad but no lives are at stake so just let is slide. He's just really desperate for attention and it's kind of sad.
By Keith on March 22, 2009 |
I am attempting to create a definitive list of words, phrases and sentences you can spell using elements from the periodic table. I believe this work has the potential to uncover revolutionary new chemical compounds.
Posted in Science | Tagged Chemistry, Elements, Juvenile Humor, Periodic Table, Science, Spelling |
By Keith on March 1, 2009 |
A guide to all the best backcountry drainages in Utah’s Big Cottonwood Canyon. Get away from the crowds and experience the bliss of untracked snow!
Posted in Sports | Tagged AIDS, Alta is for Rapists, Backcountry Skiing, Banking Systems, Bear Traps, Beartrap Fork, Bedbugs, Big Cottonwood Canyon, Broads Fork, Butler Fork, Cardiac Ridge, Cardiff Fork, Charity, chutes, Comptroller, Days Fork, Days Inn, Dromedary Peak, Emergency Contraception, English Muffins, extreme skiing, Gay, Genital Warts, Glide Avalanche, Gobblers Knob, God, Hallway Couloir, Hep C, Herpes, Hot Asian Women, HPV, Little Cottonwood Canyon, Little Water Peak, Mill B North, Mill B South, Mill D North, Montreal Hill, Mormons, Mt Raymond, Mt Superior, Murder, Neffs Canyon, O'Sullivan Peak, Quantum Leap, Rape, Reed and Benson Ridge, Reynolds Peak, Roswell Incident, Salt Lake Twins, SARS, Sex Crimes, Silver Fork, Ski Touring, Skiing, Skinning, STDS, Sundial Peak, Thomas Fork, tree skiing, Urination, Utah, Whipple Couloir, Wolves, Wyndham Hotels |
By Keith on January 29, 2009 |
The first chapter of my fan fiction story about the time the Bar None Ranch gang (with some help from a few Salute Your Shorts alums) went back in time to save RFK from being assassinated.
Posted in Television | Tagged Assassination, Bar None Ranch, Brad, Buddy, Budnick, Buses, Cassie, Danny, Donkey Lips, Dr Kahn, Dude Ranches, Fan Fiction, Guns N Roses, Hey Dude, Melody, Melon Salad, Mr Ernst, Native Americans, Raspberry Cheesecake, Richard Nixon, Robert F Kennedy, Salute Your Shorts, Sirhan Sirhan, Sponge, Summer Camps, Ted, Television, The Beatles, Time Travel, Tuna Salad, Ug |
By Keith on September 11, 2008 |
The startling revelation that Kim Jong-Il has been dead and replaced by body-doubles inspires Catsandbeer.com to look at other well-known people who are dead but carried on by lookalikes.
Posted in Celebrities | Tagged A Perfect Circle, Andrei Kirilenko, Aneurysms, Arizona, Baltimore Ravens, Bastards, Camryn Manheim, Celebrities, Chris Dodd, Coaching, Constipation, Coprophagia, Cuba Gooding Jr, Daddy Day Camp, Deron Williams, Diabetes, Dogs, Dolph Lundgren, Football, Germany, Kerri Strug, Kim Jong-Il, Kyle Boller, Lists, Louie Anderson, Maynard James Keenan, Nomadic White Trash, Olympics, Paganism, Pneumonia, Rap, Reebok, Rick Neuheisel, San Bernardino, Scooby Doo, Stillborns, Strokes, Texas, Thin Ice, Tone Loc, Tool, UCLA, Utah Jazz, Viral Meningitis, Weird Al |
By Keith on August 31, 2008 |
Denver-based rapper and entrepreneur Three Dolla Billy visits the Democratic National Convention in downtown Denver and learns that political conventions are a mixed bag for those in gay prostitution business.
Posted in Politics | Tagged 2008 Election, 3DB, Anal Sex, Arby's, Bag Lady Edna, Beef 'N Cheddars, Burger King, Colorado, Conventions, Cornell, Currency Trading, Death Race, Democratic National Convention, Democrats, Denver, Fair-Trade Coffee, French Toast Sticks, Gay Sex, Golden, Hernando, Heroin, Jamocha Shakes, Lakewood, Marky, Masturbation, Money, Paco, Painkillers, Politics, Princeton, Public Policy, Public Urination, Retard Dickie, Safeway, Scat, Slick Ricardo, Starbucks, Texas Justice, The Price Is Right, Three Dolla Billy, Uncle Chucky, Vicodin, Vomiting |
By Keith on June 25, 2008 |
Catsandbeer.com talks to a guy who scores hot ladies with the help of adorable little hamburgers. Then he pounds them two at a time…the burgers, that is.
Posted in Television | Tagged Aaron Burr, Bambino Burgers, BK Burger Shots, Burger King, Cajuns, Chicken Sandwiches, Chuck Norris Uggggh, Cleavage, Cold Sores, Commercials, Creole, Crotches, Denver, Dorks, Everybody Love Raymond, FBI, Frenchmen, Good Times, Jim, Jimmy Trivette, Jury Duty, Louisiana, Pauly Shore, Pickles, Pizza, Pleasure Machine, Richard Crenna, Richard Jeni, Scranton, Slave Owners, Subprime Mortgages, Television, Test Marketing, The Office, Tom Berenger, Videos, Wahoo Fish Tacos, Walker Texas Ranger, Washington Mutual Bank |
By Keith on May 3, 2008 |
Jay Cutler learns a harsh truth about diabetes: certain aspects of his personal life will be affected for the worse.
Posted in Sports | Tagged Cigarettes, Denver Broncos, Doritos, Fritos, Funions, Hostess Cupcakes, Hostess Ho-Hos, Jay Cutler, Little Debbies Cosmic Brownies, Little Debbies Snack Cakes, M&Ms, Marijuana, Pizza, Sun Chips, Type 1 Diabetes |
By Keith on March 10, 2008 |
A casual conversation between two snowboarders causes the author to ponder the moral standards of murdering animals.
Posted in Real Life | Tagged Adolf Hitler, Arson, Childhood Obesity, Colorado, Cute, Ducklings, Gerbils, Keystone Ski Resort, Kittens, Masturbation, Morality, Murder, Puppies, Real Life, Rectums, Snowboarding, The Final Solution, Videotaping, World War II |
By Keith on February 2, 2008 |
A visitors guide to the less-visited sights, sounds and smells of Golden, CO. This is just a guide; you should really come and see them for yourself.
Posted in Real Life | Tagged Bowling Alleys, Broadway, Chains, Chinese Food, Cliff Swallows, Colorado, Disasters, Drifting, Dulaney High School, Freedom, Golden, Graffiti, Gravesite, High Schoolers, Memorial, Mountain Man, Mufflers, Musicals, Paul Simon, Pink Floyd, Rage Against the Machine, Real Life, Ridgely Middle School, Scoops, Sewers, Teenage Rebellion, The Capeman, Thomas Paine, Truancy, US 6, White Ash Mine Disaster, Windows |
By Keith on December 25, 2007 |
To make constitutional law more interesting, we’re offering a do it yourself Mad Lib to help you write your own rulings! Just fill in the blanks to create your own statement on free speech and censorship!!!!!
Posted in Politics | Tagged Bikini Waxing, Censorship, Clarence Thomas, Constitutional Law, Controversial Rulings, FCC v. Pacifica, Free Speech, George Carlin, Mad Libs, Obscenity, Offensive Speech, Politics, Pornography, Pubic Hair, The First Amendment, US Supreme Court, Young Children |
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